Apr 22, 2016

The Downside (!?!) to 'Scoping

I have immensely enjoyed watching 'Scopes and broadcasting them. There is simply nothing as awesome as the clay community. And given a platform like Periscope - we've come together and shared like never before. It's awesome. Amazing. Dreadful.

Okay, look. I am not here to whine or have a pity party. I am here to speak the truth. I am a 43 year-old-woman. I have given birth to two amazing human beings. I have created and created and created most of my adult life. I've earned what I have and I strive to earn more for me and my family. I have a lot to be proud of.

But watching myself on replays? Ooooo-weeee! Ugh, who is that woman? Why is she on my screen? Who wants to look at that? There is nothing more emotionally challenging, mentally tiring, or ego-deflating than seeing myself on the screen.

And I know I'm not alone. Almost every one of us female potters has glimpsed an image of ourselves and winced, fixed our hair, or wished out loud that we'd put some make-up on. Some of us don't even show ourselves at all.

My husband can take a pretty decent portrait of me. May 2014.

I think we should talk about it. I'm here to tell you, I hate how I look. Yeah, I know, I know, but let's be real. I think we all have way more to offer than how we look, and I know for damn sure that I hate that glimpse of myself and that self-deflating thought of "I look like crap again today" that goes through my head. Every. Damn. Time.

But the other thing I want you to know. I THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Every. Damn. One. Of. You. I am so grateful that you join me in my daily clay journey and the beauty of your hearts and souls laid out in clay and into our community is special.

And so. I simply think it's time to acknowledge that while the trolls can be a challenge, to me, at least the biggest downside to Periscope is how I feel about how I look.I work on myself everyday, not only to produce better ceramic work, but to not be so hard on myself and the way I look. The outside wrapper is only one part of who I am as a person, a potter and a member of my communities.

***EDITED: Small side note: Katch.me just announced that they would no longer be katching the Periscope broadcasts and saving them. All previous links will be dead. However, I have used Katch's YouTube importer, so at least for now, my broadcasts will be here. I've got some fine tuning to do, but what the heck. And see, I still want to share, regardless of how I feel about how I look!